Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Turkey Meatballs???? huh maybe.

Turkey Meatballs???? huh maybe. That sounds like a dinner that all will love. I have in the past used zucchini in place of pasta before and that sounds perfect. Just a quick trip to the grocery and voila!! all the makings for dinner.

So yesterday I wanted to give you the dirt on my sister and myself. I think the appropriate word absolutely is "dirt". It is definitely a messy situation. I have been the push over, follower, and even a "yes" person in the past. It is way easier for everyone else if you are that way. I mean who really likes to hear they are wrong???? Me. I don't mind hearing I am wrong. Why???? It gives me a chance not to make the same mistake again and maybe to even apologize (which I have been know to do years after the fact). So my Little Sister is going through some stuff. Most of Hardwick, to my knowledge, knows more than I about her situation. I allow my sister to make her mistakes and not shame her, because they are her mistakes. And maybe they aren't mistakes. Maybe they are what they are and will take her somewhere more purposeful later. Who knows? I called my sister yesterday to let her know that I love her. I called to tell her that at this point in my own recovery that I cannot take on her issues and must deal with my own. I asked her to please refrain from informing me of her problems and talk to me about other things. She didn't take it well. She shot me down verbally and then disowned me. Funny.... I am okay with this for now. I feel it is maybe healthier for me. I broke when I spoke to her last week and had to listen to her cry. Oh God!... that was so hard for me to hear her do. It took me 2 days to dig myself out of that pit of dirt and rock crumbling beneath my feet, tears from my eyes and whaling agony shooting out of my soul, but I did it and don't want to go back again.

Family. Hard stuff. At least in my family. I am disposable. That is the part that I work so hard not to be. I mean who really wants to be trash? I know it is a harsh term but isn't that what we call stuff we no longer need, or want? trash... tossed aside, tossed out. So what does trash do when it is no longer needed where it once was, be it family, friend, home, whatever???? I think I have it figured out. Maybe trash finds a new home, friend or family or maybe it makes the best out of what it has turning into a rich compost and then, into its own beautiful tree, with many branches creating a new family. A family all of its own, strong, reliable and unbroken. I have that with my husband and 2 children. We are beautiful together and strong.

So yes I think turkey meatballs and zucchini pasta.... what are you having?

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