Monday, August 31, 2009

Tomato Soup To Warm My Soul

Yes, I still have that sore throat. I thought it was going away, but no. It is still itchy and nagging at me. I was in hopes it was on its way out last night and decided to try to help it along with a quick homemade tomato soup. I opened a can of tomatoes and pureed it down,but not too much because I like it as a bisque. Added some low fat milk, salt, pepper, garlic, fresh basil and rosemary from my garden and a little splenda to cut the acid. As I cooked it I thought about the first time I had tomato soup. It was at Diane's house. She lived at the end of our street. Her mother was the Avon lady....Ding Dong... Avon!!!! It was so fun at her house because her mother had all of the little samples of lipsticks and I think we over time had tried everyone on. Anyway, I was sure I wouldn't like this red, soup made of tomatoes from that Campbell's can. Diane's Mom made it differently though, she added milk and turned it into a creamy sweet dish that I fell in love with (mmmm mmm good. Hehehe, sorry couldn't help myself). I heated my soup until hot but not scaled and oooooohhhhhhhh it was so GOOD!!!! The heat felt incredibly healing to my throat and off to bed I went. I am sure I had wonderful dreams.

6:00 a.m. I wake. Crack, snap, "come on back you can do it. Up straight now" . I am sure you all know what I mean by this if you are 35 or older. That stiff morning wake. Up to start the day. Made muffins for the kids and made my self a bowl of broccoli salad (that I am now out of). I am sure I will be sick of it soon, but as for now I find it yummy and filling. What is in my broccoli salad? Broccoli crowns, and shredded broccoli, carrots, red cabbage, soy nuts, and craisins. I buy it at Costco. I do not eat the dressing that comes with it though. It is made with mayonnaise "YUCK". I have never cared for mayo and can pick it out of most anything. I instead choose to use Italian dressing on my salad. Good Seasons brand. So off to school goes Wyatt and off to work goes my hubby. Now it is time to school Kylann and off to the football Field we go for power walking, and just walking. We walked in all around 2 miles. I was proud of us, but mostly Ky. She was a real trooper to keep up with me. Honestly, I don't know if I would exercise if it weren't for her. You see what makes me get out there and do it is the thought of her becoming heavy set and her being mad at me later for not teaching her a healthier lifestyle. I kick myself in the butt often because if I had just kept up with myself before I would not be where I am today. Obese. Obese... what a hidious word. Now if you don't feel bad enough about yourself have a doctor ask "do you know your obese"? Well Duh!!! I just shop in the womens section because it is the "in" thing to do. What a stupid question. I am positive that most of my depression is hereditary. A lot of my family has it. I am also sure that if I was physically heathier that although, my depression may not go away, would deterriorate quite a bit.

I had so much happen to me today that I would love to share with you all, but fear I will lose you all if I take up too much more of your time. Maybe tomorrow though I will fill you in on the goings on with my little sister and myself. Say a prayer for her please, she is a little lonelyer tonight. :(

Facebook | Chad -Wendy Tanner

Facebook Chad -Wendy Tanner

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Cheese Steak and Chili ahhhh

Yahoo! Mail (wendy.tanner23)

Well here I am day 2 of this project and well I suppose I ought to back track so you know what I did and hope to keep doing. Last night my kids ages 12 and 10 were kind of dying for a cheese steak sandwich. I decided to surprise them and pulled out some steak out of the freezer. I spent a good 20 minutes shaving it down and in the mean time earning myself one of the nicest knife blisters on my pointer finger. I of course ran around the house collecting as much sympathy as possible. First from my hubby who... well wasn't too conserned, then my daughter who went overboard on the "oooohhhh I am sorry" as she was giggling away. It was my son who truely felt bad for me and gave me a hug to make me feel better and my cat who licked it. I accually find a lot of humor in recalling this account, you see my son is ususally is very selfish but the thought of his consern makes me smile, and well how did that cat know to lick that exact spot. The whole thing between my son and cat made my husband feel bad as I commenced to rub it in. He made it up to me though. He finished slicing that darn frozen peice of flesh and marinated it too.

My husband, Chad, really likes to cook every now and then. He pulled out the olive oil and red wine; then he poured a goodly amount over the shaved beef. Then he hit the spices; salt, pepper, garlic, onion, cajun spice, and dijion mustard. He allowed it to sit awhile and then prepared his saute pan with non stick cooking spray. Aaahhhhh the aroma!!!! He cooked it to perfection, So tender and juicy. Now I am the bread maker in the house. Chad used to be ... but once I resigned from my job I found so much piece and healing in making bread dough. Bread dough is so soft, plyable, and circulates the blood in your hands. This gift that God had given us.... the gift of thought and invention is marvelous and so is the person who first condured up the first loaf of bread. Who would ever have though that some wheat, egg, water, yeast salt, sugar and oil would be so theraputic yet tastey? I made english muffins the other day and I toasted up a couple for the kids to have their cheese steak on. My Husband and I would be eating ours over salad. I added a slice of cheddar cheese on top and allowed it to melt. It was a work of art by the time Chad and I were finished. I also made onion blossoms. I know... I know .... it sounds so fattening, but it wasn't!!!! you see I bake my onion blossoms. I take a large onion and cut a bunch of slits all the way around but not all the way through or it will just fall apart. Then I crack up some eggs but use only the egg whites (therefore getting rid of the high calories from the eggs), prepare my bread crumbs by adding spices. I use plain bread crumbs so I add salt, pepper, and a little hot pepper flakes (I like the bite). Soak the onion in hot water (this helps the sections of the onion to loosen up) and then roll it in the egg, and then the bread crumbs. I then put it on a baking sheet and heat the oven to 450. Spray the onion with that non-stick spray and then bake until it is golden brown. OH IT IS SOOOOO GOOD!!!!! My kids even love them. Dinner was so tasty and I didn't even miss the carbs from the bread from the sandwich.

So onto today. My morning started off as it has the last couple of weeks, with a big bowl of broccoli salad. I think I am addicted. I love its crunchiness. Later I decided I was going to exercise and tried the fit channel. I have always wanted to do one of those fancy dances... so I did the latin workout and tried (key word "tried") to salsa. My feet couldn't quite keep up but I did sweat and I guess that is all that matters. Later we had to go get gas for our car and since we are extremely poor this week we rolled up change from our change jar and headed out. We bought our gas at Costco since it is the best price around at about $3.45 for super. The kids were hungery and so were we so we hit Wendy's. WHAT!!!! I know! but do not fear I was very good in sticking to my diet. I ordered a side salad and a bowl of chili. Again very low on carb and calories. Now I am home, hoping that my friend will come over who I haven't seen in a few weeks and pondering about dinner. Oh by the way I am catching a cold. Yup... you know that irritating kind that starts with an ichy sore throat and then moves up into your nose causing stuffiness. Darn... I am out of theraflu too. Hopefully it will be one of those short lived things and I can continue one with the million things that we as mothers must do everyday. Housework, homeschooling (yes I homeschool my daughter), baking, my afternoon job and whatever else ends up coming my direction.

Taa taa friends... I will talk again tomorrow ;p

Saturday, August 29, 2009

just the beginning

So this is it... Just the beginning. How did this crazy idea pop into my head? Well it kind of started on my facebook. I have been suffering from depressional issues and well somehow writing just a few thoughts down seem to make me feel better especially when my old friends came out of the wood work and showed me how much they cared about what I had to say. Very strange for a loner such as myself to now find comfort in the words of people I had not seen in years. Then it happened my world came crumbling down on me. I had been a bull dozer at work just trying everything to get through my day. You see I was a manager at a well know fast food resturant here in Hawaii. I was the only white girl (not that it made a difference to me but it may have to those I worked with and definetly to some of the customers) also know as a "Haole". I don't mind being called a "Haole" as long as a swear word doesn't come in front of it. What does Haole mean? origionally it meant "without breath" now the slang it is supposed to mean foreiner, but now a days it refers to caucasion folk. Anyway back to the story.... I was feeling as no matter how hard I tried to do my job correctly I never could get it right. I don't feel as if it was anything I was really doing wrong I think that it is just the way it was. I tried to step down after 2 years of managing. I was eventually told if I stepped down that they would ship me to another resturant and knock me all the way to the bottom. What was this after working there for 4 years and 2 years managing? I cracked. My therapist pulled me from work and well I haven't been back since. As a matter of fact I finally agreed to resign because as they put it at the resturant we are all in agreement that you (meaning me) should resign. However they had it written up in the paperwork that I could go back anytime. There is so much more to tell but maybe later I am afraid I am getting away from my purpose of writing this blog. I watched Julie and Julia last night and I just absolutely loved it. My mind was reeling. I though how can help myself and take care of my issues through a blog and possibly help others at the same time? So this is what I propose. I am overweight and love to cook. We are in a recession so we are also poor. How can I cook the things I love, loose weight, do it cheaply and possibly heal my mind, body and soul so maybe I can get off of some of my medication and be around for my husband and kids for a long time? I will create the Wendy Project. Here it is:

The Wendy Project will be me (Wendy Tanner) creating and/or making healthy yet yummy recipes, trying to come up with an exercise program, and a healthy way to deal with my depression and social anxiety through blogging, and a healthier life style.

I am sure I will want to and may slip up from time to time as we all do. I will be as honest and informative about my feelings and life as possible and who knows maybe even if no one ever reads this I will learn more about myself that I ever thought possible.