Sunday, September 20, 2009

Crustless pizza? Can you call it that? & other tough life questions.

So remember way back when.... I had written on a post I was having crustless pizza. Many wondered how I could call it Pizza with out the crust. Well there it is... on the side next to this blog. Looks Yummy huh. So all I do is put my favorite pizza toppings in my bowl or dish and then add pizza sauce, and cheese. Then I shove it in the microwave for a couple of minutes and then it is all done. Also If I am at Costco I achieve the same thing just by eating the top and pitching that crust. However, when I am there it really doesn't seem right, but yes, I do it anyway.

I have to tell you that I spoke with my Mother this morning and the conversation we had was very ironic. you see, yesterday I blogged about how I feel the need to make people proud. Well anyway out of the blue today My Mother referred to me as a good girl. Why did she say this?...OH YES... because Peter, a business man from across the road of Chads office came over when we were struggling and helped up put the sign up. The next day I brought him over 2 bags of donuts to say thank you. He was of course appreciative. "Your a good girl Wen" says Mum. My responce. I try and have always tried. She said she knew. I told her that it is hard to live up to that all the time and that it really weighs on me. I don't believe she ever thought of that. In the end of our conversation she said that it is most important to please yourself and your family. I believe she is right about this. One question though.... isn't that who I was trying to please all along? I did but, I realize I missed out on the pleasing me part. Anyway enough of that.

Here we go with another question but a whole different subject. Do you really think that we have free will? I ask this because at times I feel like I am a puppet on Gods marionette stage. You see I never really went to church. There was a bit of a war over it when I was little. Apparently when I was born my Mom was going to get me baptized Catholic, However, My father basically kidnapped me for a couple of hours and secretly baptized me protestant. As a child I did not know this. I attended catholic church with my mother until the day that my father dug his heels into the ground and forbid me to go. That ladies and gentilmen is how I learned that I was protestant. You see I was at the age that religion did matter to me. Both my sisters, All of my friends, and cousins were all catholic. I didn't understand the difference but I just knew it was bad not to be catholic. What was this other religion anyway? Now that I am older I do not really have a communion of preferance per say. I have a belief in God. I believe that we all belong here on earth. I do not believe that being Gay is wrong.... I know this because I know God doesn't screw up what he makes. I believe that We are all forgiven, and I also believe that sometime after we die we come back and do it all over again with the same people until we finally suceed in getting life right. I like to believe in that last bit because it lets me know in the end we are all okay, even if we mess it us the first time around we get another chance to get it right. But do we really get it right or is it drafted in the screen play of our own lives? Like did I really choose to end up in Hawaii or was it written that I was going to choose to come here but it really wasn't my choice at all? I just thought it was. I ask this because at times when I am going through an envious moment I wonder... Why did life work out so much better for that person than for me? If we all have the power to succeed why doesn't it work out just like that? we all have wealth, and happiness. Even if we all used the same recipe for life it never would work out the same way for everyone. Why? I know I am asking a lot and I am sure that at times we all wonder why, why, why. I was talking to Chad about this today and he seemed to have an answer to every question until the end and then he too was stumped and proclaimed "Something has just got to be different to make it that way and I believe in free will". Me... I am a thinker. I think too much. I dissect life and I get some enjoyment out of it. It is a debate. I enjoy debates. My father was a debater. I learned from the best. I aspire at times to be better at it than he. The only way to achieve that is to know what I am talking about, and to do that I must question. Please let me know what you think. (There is a spot for your comments at the bottom of this blog or you can use the post on facebook.) I used to have a key chain it read as follows "I hate going into a battle of wits with an unarmed person". That is so true. Robin if you are reading this... you are the Minister's Wife... Maybe you have a few answers for me. Until tomorrow.

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