Eating out these last couple of days. Just don't have enough time or room in my fridge with everything else that I have been having to take care of. What do I eat when I am out? Well the last couple of days McDonalds grill chicken snack wraps without the tortilla but with extra lettuce. It works out really well for me because the serve it to me in a small salad bowl and it is just the right portion. Also before I forget they have 3 choices of sauce. I get the chipolte BBQ sauce on mine but I am sure most of you would prefer the ranch or honey mustard. Try it I am sure you will be amazed.
So I do not think I will have time to blog between now and tomorrow again so let me fill you in on my thoughts that keep running through my head alot lately other than this Grand Opening. Here it goes.... well I guess I fooled myself all of these years. I am supposed to be comfortably well off with a home, nice car, perfect family and job. HAHAHAHA. I am not really laughing that was sarcastic. See what I set myself up to think when I was little. I am sure that it also stems a bit from being taught that substidized housing was bad and only losers live there, only lazy asses were on welfare, and you were crazy if you needed a therapist and don't even mention pills that really just made you a whack job. So what happened? This is not who I was supposed to be. I was going to do better than my parents. I was going to be a better parent, I was going to live equal to what they gave me or better, My kids were going to see the world and have college funds ready for them. I have achieved having happy kids I think. I have given them Hawaii, New Hamshire, Vermont, and Maine but the U.S.A does not the world make. As I sit here and try to make sense of this I cannot come up with any solutions. I usually can explain to myself why, or atleast find a morel in my words but I am at a loss. I can tell you that I have done the family thing better than what I had. I have a happy successful marriage, and I feel my childrens feeling when they have been bulllied or feel like they are failing at something and for them I am an Iron fist. I have shown them things that I hoped I never would have to show them such as how to pin someone up against the wall to get them to back off. I wish someone would have shown me that instead of telling me to suck it up. I have taught them about love in a relationship and what isn't exceptable from a partner if they really love you. I have taught them about sex, rape, good and bad touches and about how jumping out of a moving car is better if you are stolen and being hurt like that rather than not coming home at all. So what am I? I am not truely sure other than I can say I know I am a good person, a mother, and wife. To some I may be a loser, lazy ass, and a crazy whack job. I am just me.