Sunday, October 18, 2009

Good Ol' Fashion Oatmeal

This morning and accually the last few mornings I have finally found a love for oatmeal. I hated it when I was little and to be honest have never really have given it a chance to grow on me. My Mother; gotta love her; was not a wonderful cook when I was growing up. Her oatmeal was bland and that is what I always thought oatmeal tasted like. She is a much better cook now that she has learned to keep it simple but I don't think I would eat her oat meal still. Anyway so on with my oatmeal. I like the whole oatmeal, not the quick cooking kind. It takes only only a couple of minutes longer to cook and the flavor is much better. So here is the secret to yummy oatmeal. You need to add salt. Sugar is a well know definet but the salt is optional and for me a must. I also add sugar free syrup, and regular brown sugar. I love raisins in it but I have to boil them in the water before adding them to oatmeal so they will be nice and plum. I found I also love to add some cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves. Apple is good but boil it in the water so it will be nice and soft, and last of all I LOVE Mac nuts on top. Oatmeal, such an old fashion food. It is a wonderful hot dish and filling. Try it again if you haven't had it in a while and you may find that it hits the spot with you too.

I am not really sure how much I have explained all of the physical abuse there was in my household growing up and please excuse me for repeating myself if I do, but there is reason behind it and you will understand better as my story continues.

Early this morning about 3:am my time I called my Mom. She has been out of sorts lately but is starting to act like her old self again. Nice to have her back to normal. She was telling me how a high school friends parents were getting a divorce and how the mother was abused. I never knew this. I again had on those rose colored glasses and didn't see the signs. I knew the man drank but never realized that anything abusive was going on, as a matter of fact I thought he worshipped the ground that the mother walked on. Maybe he did, but just couldn't help it. It just goes to show how silent and invisible domestic abuse can be. My friend never said anything about it but then again I never did either. I just stayed away as much as possible and now that I think back this friend did to. She often stayed the night at another friends house and it just seemed normal.

To everyone out there in the world who sufferes from domestic abuse my heart goes out to you. The beatings are not the worst of the scars, they go away. It is the lost trust, the low self esteem, and the humiliation that black and blues us on the inside and causes pain that never quite seems to go away. As children raised in this atmosphere we also recieve the same internal bruising as we watch our parents go through this, and even more so if we are also recieveing the wrath of the abuser. Please if you are a victim of Domestic Abuse consider trying to break free of it. I am not saying you must leave your spouce, although sometimes there is no other option, but some therapy as a couple or atleast individually for yourself (to help make you strong) or for your parner (to help them realize what is causing the anger so they can deal with it and get to feeling better). If your children are seeing this get them someone to chat with who they can express their feeling to in a safe environment. Please don't let your kids be like I was having to pack my clothes as fast as I could into a paper brown bag and being ran out of the house by my Mom just so I wouldn't be hit by the pots, and pans or fists flying in the air. It is scary you never forget and Yes I could see all of this happening as I ran down those stairs as fast as I could and it happened often. I have broken the cycle in my family. My kids are safe and have a wonderful life. They know this and I tell them everything. They have been taught the difference between love and need. They understand what is unexceptable in a loving relationship. One more quick thing. If you find you can't get out of this relationship or it just isn't going to change, talk to your kids alot and educate them about relationships so they too can change the cycle before it continues on and possible you end up blaming yourself.

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