Friday, October 16, 2009

Crab and Shrimp Salad... Sweet goodness

Crab and Shrimp Salad. It is a sweet and light dish. Just grab an onion, dice it up and put into a saute pan with some olive oil. Begin to cook on med high heat and add some minced garlic. once the onion starts to brown add in your shrimp, imiation crabmeat some salt and pepper. Once cooked set aside and set up a plate with some salad greens. My spring mix lettuce from my garden is ready so it is the fresh stuff for me. Now add some tomato, and some bell pepper. Again I am lucky enough to get my produce from my garden. Whoopee!!!! Place some of the Shrimp and Crabmeat mixture to the top of the salad and top with your favorite cheese. I prefer fresh parmesan. Pour some baslami or Italian dressing on it and your taste buds will happily dance. Enjoy.

So I have been at peace really the last few days. It is unusually nice. There is such a calm that I have not felt in so long. The kind of calm that you get in the summer time laying in the fields where the grass is too high for anyone to find you, with the stars popping out from behind the hot pink and purple sky. The time of day when the sun is disappearing and crickets begin to sing. You can feel the cool breeze sweep across your body and kissing your cheeks because the day was so hot earlier. The feeling of easy breathing from your sole... not from the lungs but from the sole and you just feel so safe. That is how I feel. Finally the confusion and the forgetfulness that I was experiencing from the anxiety meds has almost disappeared and I am now back in control of my life. I can not begin to express how very horrible it is to live with Social Anxiety. The worst part was I never knew any different. I think I was bound to have this problem since it seems to run in the family but it is kind of like living with a constant pain. You learn to live with the it and suddenly you don't even realize how bad it hurts because that is all you know. I live with this but now that I have allowed myself to talk about it to a doctor and have been diagnosed, and was willling to try treatment I now know how much pain I was in. It hurt. Daily life hurt. Being a wife, a Mom and a Boss hurt. There were days I wished everything was different. I wished my whole world was different. I wanted to get rid of all the annoyances in my life and run as far away as I could. I didn't realize that what I was in search of ..."Peace" ... could be found if I just took the steps that I recently had taken. You can imagine what a lousy person I felt like everytime I wished I wasn't Married, or a mom or even alive. I never told anyone... nope not even Chad. These thoughts as of late never cross my mind anymore. I want to live. I want to laugh with my family. I have found peace, and finally this week for the first time as my Therapist pointed out I finally said I felt happy. I didn't realize I had never said that. He was right and I was astonished. I am glad and proud to be a Wife, and a Mom and right now very happy not to be a Boss and work closely with my husband. I don't know how much better it will get but I am content if it never does. Finally some sweet goodness in life:)

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