Saturday, August 29, 2009

just the beginning

So this is it... Just the beginning. How did this crazy idea pop into my head? Well it kind of started on my facebook. I have been suffering from depressional issues and well somehow writing just a few thoughts down seem to make me feel better especially when my old friends came out of the wood work and showed me how much they cared about what I had to say. Very strange for a loner such as myself to now find comfort in the words of people I had not seen in years. Then it happened my world came crumbling down on me. I had been a bull dozer at work just trying everything to get through my day. You see I was a manager at a well know fast food resturant here in Hawaii. I was the only white girl (not that it made a difference to me but it may have to those I worked with and definetly to some of the customers) also know as a "Haole". I don't mind being called a "Haole" as long as a swear word doesn't come in front of it. What does Haole mean? origionally it meant "without breath" now the slang it is supposed to mean foreiner, but now a days it refers to caucasion folk. Anyway back to the story.... I was feeling as no matter how hard I tried to do my job correctly I never could get it right. I don't feel as if it was anything I was really doing wrong I think that it is just the way it was. I tried to step down after 2 years of managing. I was eventually told if I stepped down that they would ship me to another resturant and knock me all the way to the bottom. What was this after working there for 4 years and 2 years managing? I cracked. My therapist pulled me from work and well I haven't been back since. As a matter of fact I finally agreed to resign because as they put it at the resturant we are all in agreement that you (meaning me) should resign. However they had it written up in the paperwork that I could go back anytime. There is so much more to tell but maybe later I am afraid I am getting away from my purpose of writing this blog. I watched Julie and Julia last night and I just absolutely loved it. My mind was reeling. I though how can help myself and take care of my issues through a blog and possibly help others at the same time? So this is what I propose. I am overweight and love to cook. We are in a recession so we are also poor. How can I cook the things I love, loose weight, do it cheaply and possibly heal my mind, body and soul so maybe I can get off of some of my medication and be around for my husband and kids for a long time? I will create the Wendy Project. Here it is:

The Wendy Project will be me (Wendy Tanner) creating and/or making healthy yet yummy recipes, trying to come up with an exercise program, and a healthy way to deal with my depression and social anxiety through blogging, and a healthier life style.

I am sure I will want to and may slip up from time to time as we all do. I will be as honest and informative about my feelings and life as possible and who knows maybe even if no one ever reads this I will learn more about myself that I ever thought possible.

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